


Call of the Spirits

by slbc



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Gen, Spiritual Zuko, Zuko practices selective listening, shaman!zuko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slbc/pseuds/slbc
Summary: The Avatar is a spirit, right? Then the best way to find him is to ask the spirits.AU: Zuko becomes a shaman to find out where the Avatar is.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Kudos: 15





	Call of the Spirits

“ _Air nomads were said to be very spiritual, especially friendly with trickster spirits like bake-danuki and cham dokkaebi. Air Avatars were said to be the most spiritual of all, with several incidents resolved by them, the most recent incident the appeasement of Old Iron.” The rest of the scroll is burnt off. Zuko curses the firebenders that lacked the will to control their burning. But one thing is clear to him. The best way to find this Avatar is to ask the spirits._

Time to find his uncle.

* * *

“Uncle.” Zuko calls out.

“Ah prince Zuko, would you like to join us in our Pai Sho game? Did you know that this temple has a giant Pai Sho table.” Iroh heaves a massive tile into place. “Such cultured people. Why don't you join me for a game after this? I'm sure you'll enjoy it.”

“Uncle, I don’t have time for this.” snaps Zuko. “I need to find the Avatar quickly. How do you get to the spirit world?”

Iroh looks up. “And how will that help you find the Avatar? The spirit world is very dangerous, and I have only gone once.” He pauses, contemplating. “How about I get you some texts on spirits. You should read up a little before you go.” He brushes off some dust. “Come, we have work to do if you truly want to walk this path.”

* * *

He continues reading about spirits as they explore the air temples. He reads about malicious spirits and trickster spirits and guardian spirits. He reads about the great spirits, Tui and La of the Water Tribe, the Three Sisters of the Earth Kingdom, Agni of the Fire Nation, and Feng of the Air Nomads. He even listens to the crazy old man at the Eastern Air Temple about opening his chakras. He learns about the concept of boundaries, of intent and ever so carefully worded statements, and implications one can hide in words. Spirits aren’t human, have no human intention, follow no human rules, and barely care about humans.

Throughout it all, Iroh is trying to invite him to play Pai Sho, with not so subtle mentions of other old men playing it. But how will that help find him the Avatar? But no matter. He goes back to studying, intent on learning more.

* * *

“Uncle, I think I’m ready to go into the spirit world.” Zuko states.

They are at the Southern Air temple, the last of the air temples they have visited. He has found no trace of the Avatar at each of the previous.

Iroh pulls Zuko down into a sitting position. He states, “Remember, you can not force your way into the spirit world. You must relax.” He nods. “What a wonderful view, isn’t it?”

Zuko is too used to Uncle’s inane statements to respond. Settling himself, his hands resting on their knees, he lets his mind clear.

Just when he is about to give up, he feels a shift. Then quickly thereafter, a pie in his face. Sputtering, he glares at the figure in front of him. “Who are you?” snaps Zuko. The figure is dressed in the traditional orange robes of the Air Nation. “Why are you wearing those robes? All the Air nomads are dead.”

The figure simply smiles. “I am dead. Come, have some pie.”

* * *

“My name is Gyatso, of the Air Nomads. I also have other names, but that is besides the point. It is a tradition, you could say, that one must have a welcoming committee. Spirits don’t exactly trust humans.” He pours out two cups of tea before continuing. “You are searching for the Avatar.” He states this not as a question, but as fact. Zuko nods, before Gyatso continues. “Some spirits will help you. Some spirits won’t care. Others, like me, know that it is inevitable. All in due time.”

Zuko is surprised by the patience he shows. Normally, he would have interrupted immediately, but something in him tells him what is being said is important. After a pause, Zuko asks, “So what can you tell me?”

"Nothing in the world like this, nothing in both worlds I suppose." He continues as if Zuko hasn't spoken, cutting his pie into smaller pieces. "Unless another air nomad has been making some. Mostly an extinct art now." Just before Zuko can explode, Gyatso looks him straight in the eye. "Always use the truth. Spirits cannot lie, so they expect you not to. If you don't, they'll refuse to talk to you. And they'll be more likely to talk to you if you do them small favors."

"That should be all you need to know." He smiles. "You'll learn." As he fades away, he says "Oh, and say hello to the Avatar from me. I'm sure he will be happy to hear from me. "

Quiet until now, Zuko lets out a flurry of words. "Wait. Who were you to the Avatar? And that's not enough. I need to know more. If it doesn't matter, you can just tell me where he is." By then he is gone, back at the southern air temple. He yells out and looks around. The day has passed by

* * *

He makes his way through most of the earth kingdom. He takes the advice Gyatso gave, accruing small favors, never asking outright. When he asks about the Avatar, they point him in all sorts of different directions. They call the Avatar “The one who sees”, “The Bridge”, “Grower of Pineapples”, “the lost lover ”. It takes him longer than it should for him to figure out these names belong to different people. Sure, people say that the Avatar is the same person, but knowing is different from reality. Time is fuzzy for spirits, one week can be as momentous for them as the passing of 500 years or even 2000. But Zuko only wants to find one person, an Air nomad from 100 years ago. So he continues asking, some refusing to answer, some ignoring him, others making sly implications that lead in wild goose chases. The Swamp is one of them.

* * *

He isn’t quite sure why he is heading toward the swamp, only that the spirits insist he goes there. The swamp feels slightly closer to the spirit world than normal. But that isn’t unusual, a bunch of places are like that. The only reason he heads there is that some spirit babbled something about connections and trees, with a passing reference to finding anything you want. Clearly the Avatar could be found through this way, or at the least, would have visited the place.

He enters the swamp. The fetid air clings to him as he trudges through the damp ground. He sees no spirits, yet something in him feels chilly. He catches a hint of movement at the edge of his eye, but something in him tells him he won’t want to see it. As he heads further into the swamp, the glimpses grow more concrete, as if telling him he must face it. Just before he sees a giant tree, flames erupt around him, taking him back to his Agni Kai. In this vision(it must be a vision, it must be) his father stares down at him. He can feel something new then, fading toward death, his face a mass of pain. A spiritual tug, wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to keep living. To relax finally, never have to compare against your sister. See your mother again? "NO!" Zuko yells out, trying to pull himself to reality, willing himself to feel his feet in the ground and damp air on his face instead of flames that burn hotter than molten steel. Belief is reality he tells himself. He tells himself to believe. He can’t be dead.

Moments later, he wakes up, leaning against the big tree he saw earlier. Resisting the urge to burn everything in sight, he looks up at it and sees nothing special about it. "Huh" he says, trying to strain his eyes to See. He leaves the swamp in a foul mood, licks of flame spurting from his mouth. Even his uncle leaves him alone for the next few days.

* * *

He dreams of the future sometimes. His family is happy, his father accepts him, and the spirits are content. The Avatar does what he is supposed to, calm the spirits. His mother has come back, and they are one happy family again.

Then he wakes up in his godforsaken cabin, staring up at the ceiling, the waves rocking him back and forth.

* * *

“Prince Zuko.” Iroh calls out in front of a hapless crewman pushing a crate. “Look at what I’ve bought! And I bought this teapot for a wonderful price. It has such fine work.” He claps his hands together. “What a bargain.”

Zuko glances over, and jumps. “Of course it’s a bargain, it’s cursed.” Snatching it from his uncle’s hands, he examines it more closely. “Hilarious.” He chuckles. “Curses the user to drink uncontrollable amounts of tea in front of important people.”

“More tea is always better, is it not?” He pulls out a tsungi horn, “Is this cursed?”

“No, but it will make an excellent receptacle for that trickster spirit we captured last week. That spirits is much too particular about what it inhabits after being in a mandolin for 300 years.”

As Zuko walks off with the horn, Iroh shouts “You can’t be serious. That is high quality authentic Ah-Seng bronze.”

A week later, Zuko brings a Tsungi horn that alternates between being outrageously out of tune, and playing ancient drinking songs. The drinking songs are surprisingly popular, with lyrics being invented on the spot, some filthier than others. Much to Iroh’s horror, it becomes a mainstay at music night.

* * *

If time is an illusion, so is distance. They say if you're drafted onto the Wani, you should expect nothing. The ship travels faster than it should, reaching places far before other, faster ships. On occasion, the ocean retains a tinged hue, and watchmen on deck report seeing fantastical creatures. They say it travels through the spirit world. Of course these tales are spread by sailors, notorious for exaggerating.

* * *

“Prince Zuko. Surely you do not have to sneak into the North Pole.” Iroh looks faintly amused and continues. “You could simply ask nicely. I know some people there. Very skilled Pai Sho players.”

“You think they’ll allow me to go to their most sacred place?” Zuko stops his pacing. “I don’t care how good you are at Pai Sho, they’re not complete idiots.” He steps into the boat. “I’ll see you in a day.”

* * *

He asks around the spirits if they can guide him to the place. He’s getting better at talking to them. Just because they look human doesn’t mean they’ll be nice, or even that they’ll understand you, and just because they look like an animal doesn’t mean they’re dumb. A nearby bird (if it is a bird) cocks it head, before trilling a low note and flying off. He follows it obligingly as it leads him deeper into the tundra. It takes him to a hole, lands, and starts at him. He thanks the spirit before sitting by the hole. It starts at him as of our expects him to go in, but Zuko isn't that stupid. Most of the time.

Eventually a seal turtle comes by and peeks its head up for air, before seeing Zuko and ducking. He follows it, and he can feel the boundary between the worlds thin. He emerged, coming face to face with a great spirit. Alright she looks to be a teenage girl, Zuko knows spirits take many shapes. The spirit energy within her is huge and is without a doubt, the moons.

"May I enter your sacred place?"

"Umm, I suppose so."

"Thank you moon spirit."

She startles a little, and tries to say something else, but Zuko has already disappeared. She decides it would be best if she didn’t tell anyone.

* * *

The spirit world is almost the exact same as it is on the other side. To his surprise, a spirit is already waiting for him.

He bows on recognition. The mother of faces. He accepts her invitation for tea. They talk of many things, some meaningless, some meaningful. Zuko knows what she does, creates new identities and sees through the faces people present to the world. She understands what it means to be human, even if she does not live it. He braces himself for the inevitable question.

“Are you sure you do not want your old face back? You were not meant to walk the path of spirits, yet walk it you do. I remember crafting your face. But now it is warped. You could be what you once were.”

He considers. He could go back to what he once was. But who would he be then? Would he still chase the Avatar? Would he be content with not knowing about the spirits?

He finally decides. “No thank you. Changing you I am would be disregarding the experiences I've had. People change from who they were. I think I’m happy with how I’ve lived my life.”

The Mother of Faces does not seem surprised. She smiles. “When you next meet my son, tell him I’ve forgiven him. We will meet again.” She walks away into the distance, slowly fading into the distance.

He gets up, feeling drained, and returns back.

* * *

There are days when he is filled with rage. Sorrow. Apathy. Even good days like purpose. But the years have passed. Rage becomes anger becomes an idea in his mind. Sorrow becomes sadness becomes an idea in his mind. He knows he should feel something, so he tells himself he is going after the Avatar. Reflexes long ingrained in him tell him what to do, but they lack purpose.

But something has been building up recently. When not asking about the Avatar, spirits seem to be more willing. His various names settle into one, the Last Airbender. Spirits tell him to head south. His heart stirs, an old purpose renewed. A trickle of information becomes a hesitant stream. Then one day, it all changes as a beam of light shoots up into the sky. This is it. The spirits want him to chase him.

* * *

He enters the village, the drawbridge lowering itself. A simple youth tries to attack him, but he flings him aside. He bows to the village elder. Respect and honor goes hand in hand in dealing with the spirits.

“Where is he?” When no one responds he continues. “The Avatar. Don’t bother trying to lie, he’d be about as old as her, and wear orange clothes.” The youth tries to attack him again, but he is no more successful than last time. Tossed a spear by one of the many children, the water tribe boy attacks again, before Zuko grabs his spear and breaks it. He decides if he is going to attack him, he may as well treat him as an enemy. He flares his flame daggers and starts to approach.

The Avatar swoops in. “Stop. It’s me you’re after, isn’t it?”

“Yes. The world is out of balance.” The village flinches. “Do you think the spirits were content doing nothing? The Avatar is supposed to calm them. I swear no one in this village will be harmed if you come with me.”

The Avatar nods in return. The girl shouts “No! Aang, don’t do this.”

“Don’t worry, Katara. It’ll be okay. Take care of Appa for me until I get back.”

The Avatar turns around and climbs onto the ship behind Zuko.

* * *

The Avatar has escaped. The Avatar has escaped. Has he learned nothing of the spirits? They expect you to keep your word, and he has just outed himself as an oathbreaker. His honor says he should go back to the village and just to show the Avatar’s actions has consequences. Airbenders never have to deal with their consequences when they can just fly away. He grits his teeth, but slaughtering a village will not help him.

This mission of his no longer just to find the Avatar. It is to teach him responsibility, teach him about the world he has allowed to go to waste. His mission is no longer about duty, but now is a personal vengeance.

* * *

“Isn’t that a cute bear statue? And look, people left food here. Do you think anyone would mind if I took some. You know it looks so good...” As Sokka reaches out, Aang tackles him to the ground babbling. “”Nonononono you can’t do that its bad, respect the spirits. You can’t just take offerings unless they think it's funny. I think. Gyatso said forest spirits were really grumpy.”

Later on in the village, they ask about the shrine.

“It’s a shrine to the forest spirit, Hei Bai. Originally no one went there, because anyone who entered there would always end up with their clothes stained with ashes. Looked a lot like blood to. A few years ago a shaman came by, planted the trees and left. Everything was fine afterward, then we found the shrine.”

“Wait, those trees are only a couple years old? It sure doesn’t look like it.”

Their response is nothing but a shrug.

* * *

“They’re heading for the temple. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of the importance of the winter solstice.” Iroh says.

Zuko remains silent, pondering his choices. “Blockade up ahead!” a crewmate shouts. Zuko decides. “We’ll have more opportunities.”

“I’m not that stupid. Besides, I’m sure Avatar Roku will not be glad to see me.I imagine he could cover the island with lava if he wanted.”

* * *

Some days, meditation comes naturally. He lets his mind slip away like a falling leaf, one thought flowing as smoothly as the next. Other days, all he can think about is the Avatar, wearing a groove into the deck with all his relentless pacing. Other days he knows he wants to meditate, and he knows he can, but all he does is stare at the wall. He closes his eyes, before he opens them again because of the clunk of the engine, the mandatory drills of imperial firebenders, its just too much.

* * *

Entering the North Pole a second time is laughably easy. The seal tunnels seem to have shrunk, or has he grown? Either way, he gets there faster than last time. The water tribe peasants are there but appear to be unable to see him.

"Apologies, moon spirit." He bows. "I must take the Avatar back to the fire nation in order for him to face justice. He has been negligent in his duties to the spirits."

Just like last time, she just nods, accepting things happen.

* * *

When he enters the spirit world, it seems fate is obliging. He sees the Avatar has decided to be as clueless as he always has regarding spirit matters, asking Koh the Face Stealer of all spirits. There's a reason no one wants to see him, and Koh is content to let it remain that way.

Steeling himself, he walks up to Koh. He grabs the Avatar by the neck, and then bows to Koh.

“Greetings, Collector of Faces. I have come here to retrieve the Avatar to let him face the consequences of his action.” Before Koh can respond, he continues. “Your mother says that she misses you.”

Koh seems stunned by this revelation, which allows Zuko to drag Avatar away. As soon as he is far enough from Koh, the Avatar starts complaining.

“Why did you drag me away? I need to know where the moon and ocean spirits are? And why did you call him Collector of Faces? Isn’t he the Stealer of Faces? And you have to let me go. You don’t know what is going to happen, the Fire Nation has to be stopped. And who is his mother?” The Avatar pauses for breath. While he does so, Zuko lifts the skinny wisp of a child off the ground so he can stare him directly in the eyes.

“Why in the world would you meet him in his realm of places. Do you have a brain at all, or has yours shrunk in the past century? You think he has his name for a completely different reason than you think? And it's polite to call spirits by the name they want to be called. You think he likes to be called a thief? He thinks he's just collecting the faces created by his mother.”

“But Avatar Roku said it was okay to meet with him.”

“Did he really say that? Or did you only hear what you wanted to hear? Anyway, if you had just spent time looking, truly looking, the spirits you were looking for would have been in the pond.”

Comprehension creeps across the Avatar’s face. “You mean the fish?”

He grits out the response. “Yes the fish. Why do you think they were glowing? Never mind, you probably don’t know anything about the spirits. This is why I’m taking you back to the Fire Nation. You need to learn this.”

“But the Fire Nation burns down everything. Zhao certainly won’t help me with the spirits. And he’s going to destroy the Northern Water Tribe.”

“You need to face the consequences. They came to destroy the Northern Water Tribe because you came here. You could have asked for a waterbending teacher and continued running like you always do. But no, you had to give a reason for the military to come here.”

By this time, Zuko has dragged them both back to the real world. He starts to take out rope to tie up the Avatar, but the Avatar blasts him back with airbending.

“Thanks for the advice.” he can barely make out before he loses consciousness.

* * *

“There he is!” Katara shouts. “But why is he dragging Zuko?”

“Hey Katara, Sokka. We have to get back to the Oasis, the spirits are in trouble.”

“Ok, drop Zuko and we’ll go.” Katara says.

“Wait, we can’t just leave him here.”

“Sure we can. Let’s go”

“No, if we leave him, he’ll die.”

“You sure? If the spirits are so close to him, he can just do the spirit mumbo jumbo thingy and get out.” Sokka mimics Zuko. “The spirits will bring justice to you.”

“I guess it’s okay”, Aang says uncertainly. “But I guess we have to move quickly.”

* * *

“Wake up. The moon spirit is in trouble.”

Zuko wakes up, his face just opposite of Kohs. He resists the urge to yelp.

“I can see why you need to teach the Avatar responsibility. Leaving you out in the snow? I thank you for my mother’s message. But the moon spirit is in trouble. You must do your duty.”

Zuko nods, then wills himself back into the real world, sprinting for the spirit oasis.

* * *

If he thought princess Yue was the moon spirit before, he knows he had been wrong. Never has he seen such concentrated spirit energy before in the real world.

He reaches out a hand to Zhao. A final act of mercy for one that does not deserve it. Just before the ocean spirit sweeps him away, Zhao sneers and pulls away. Zuko knows that Zhao does not understand what he has done at that moment. Zuko wonders what Zhao will see in the Fog of Lost Souls, if the spirits will grant mercy for ignorance. He thinks not. Mercy is rarely held above justice in the Spirit World.

There is no mercy from the Avatar, as he merges with the ocean spirit to form a monster. A towering mass of spirit energy, the physical and spiritual energy merged into one. He knows he should try to stop it, but he is too numb with cold and fear and his failures. What good is he? He watches as it sweeps ship after ship to their deaths. One part of his mind says he should lay those soldiers to rest. The other half screams that this is his countrymen, he can’t let the Avatar unleash this destruction. But who is he? A failure, he can’t even keep his hands from shaking, he can’t capture the Avatar, he is nothing but a disappointment. He remains numb until jolted from his doldrum by his uncle. They both run for the ocean, and take off on a small raft.

* * *

There is something about how misery clings to the air, how the debris and dead bodies clog up the water, that shakes Zuko. He has always espoused honor, and has no reason to doubt his ideals. But this is the first time he truly grasps war, the bloody reality of men killing men. His time with spirits has only dragged him away from the world he has to live with. But there is something even worse about spirits killing men, of the Avatar’s power unleashed. He starts to doubt if he should have listened to the spirits. Something so unnatural to deal with the natural world. He starts to realize the imbalance in this world may not just be because of the lack of Avatar, but also because of the glorification of war.

He stays alone with his thoughts, only eating and drinking when prompted by his uncle. Days drift by, end on end, trapped in his head with nowhere else to go.

* * *

Azula smiles. Manipulating Zuko is so easy. “I've come with a message from home. Father changed his mind. Family is suddenly very important to him. He's heard rumors of plans to overthrow him; treacherous plots. Family are the only ones you can really trust.” She pauses briefly, allowing poor Zuko to understand. “Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home.” She allows the silence to run just the right amount. “Did you hear me? You should be happy. Excited. Grateful. I just gave you great news.”

She is slightly disappointed that Iroh responds. “I’m sure your brother simply needs a moment.”

“Don't interrupt, Uncle! I still haven't heard my thank you. I'm not a messenger. I didn't have to come all this way.”

Zuko is wearing that stupid expression. It’ll be so fun to knock down all his hopes. “He’s heard about the good I’ve done with the spirits? That’s why he wants me back.”

Spirits. Zuko has truly cracked if he’s talking about spirits. “Yes of course. I can see you need time to take this in. I'll come to call on you tomorrow. Good evening.”

* * *

He can only stare as Azula starts to summon lightning. She can do that now? But he sees what lightning is now, the cold dispassion it comes with. At one end is spiritual energy gathering there. At the other end, is a lack of it, a void of what should be there. The unnatural sight entrances him, and he can only stare at it.

Iroh watches his nephew as he panics. Zuko’s left pupil dilates while his right pupil starts to contract, drawn by the steady build up Azula has made. He starts to shake as if he is seeing into the other world, which for all he knows might be. Iroh has to act, and he grabs Azula’s arm and shoots the lightning at a cliff side. He grabs Zuko, who has enough sense left to run for it.

* * *

Iroh looks at his nephew, who seems to have aged well beyond his years. Even teaching him about lightning redirection barely sparked his interest. He ponders this matter while Zuko trudges along the road. He decides to comment on this, "Zuko, you seem to be lacking direction. Have you ever considered going on a spirit quest?"

Zuko turns around, gesturing to the sky. "These past 3 years have been an Agni forsaken quest. You think I need more questing?"

Iroh isn't deterred at all. "Ah, but a spirit quest is different from what you've been doing. Remember, you’ve read about this. It is about finding a purpose. You already had a purpose, hunting down the Avatar." Iroh hastily corrects himself at Zuko's glare. "Bringing the Avatar to face justice. I think you just need some alone time, to think of what you need to do without me."

"But uncle, you need me. "Zuko protests.

Iroh gives his best general look and states "I'm not asking for your permission. I'll be fine on my own. Meet me in Ba Sing Se."

* * *

News travels faster than humanly possible. A tale starts to spread through the countryside of the earth kingdom of a wandering figure. He comes into town, places offerings at local airtime, and very occasionally walks into abandoned buildings without coming out. He leaves small things behind at the local tavern, a finely detailed tea set made of an unknown material, a few blocks that are heavier than normal stone, a board for Pai Sho, but unusual tiles to match them. After his coming, people feel more settled, more grounded in a way. In some places, flowers bloom again, and crops seem to win against the weeds a little more easily. The wind whistles more freely, almost laughing in a way. In one village, the beginning of a small plague is stopped.

Afterward, people start to go to their local shrine. Old reasons to celebrate are brought up, old tales of Oma and Shu are told again, and people start to have more hope for tomorrow. No one discusses the gold eyes of that visitor.

* * *

The first time a text goes missing, he assumes his uncle took it. Uncle bought half of his collection anyway. When he brings the disappearance up the next morning, Uncle denies it. The next few times, it starts to change from coincidence into suspicion. By the seventh time, he knows something is going on.

One day in midwinter, he heads back to his cabin when he hears clanking sounds. He knows the only thing that would clank is the box with the firebending lock, where he keeps his more precious scrolls. Slamming the door open, he dives for the box, and grasps fur. The fox-like creature tries to shift to the spirit world, put Zuko is too familiar with spirits to fall for it.

“YOU!” The spirit whines and yip, trying to make itself look pitiful. “You’ve crossed into my domain. You think my stuff is for the taking. We’ll see how you feel when you can’t get out.”  
Zuko knows the basic rule of boundaries, intent is key to who owns what, and who can pass borders.

A few days pass as he keeps the fox spirit locked in his cabin. His Uncle insists he releases the Knowledge Seeker, but Zuko resists. A few day later comes an apology from Wan Shi Tong, explaining his lack of Fire Nation works, and a promise for it to not happen again. In return, Zuko pens a note requesting free access to the library in exchange for the occasional fire nation document. He almost forgets about this agreement until he enters the Si Wong Desert.

* * *

Sokka is a pretty reasonable dude. At least that’s what he tells himself. But that doesn’t stop him from screaming “FIRE PRINCE!” when he sees Zuko. Just before he is going to shout more, he lets out a manly yelp as Wan Shi Tong swoops over.

“It appears that you seem to want to get kicked out of this library.” the spirit hisses. “Keep quiet.”

“But he’s Fire Nation. They burn things.” He waves his hand in mock firebending moves. “Whoosh, Whoosh. Aren’t these books made from paper? You can’t possibly let him stay, can you?” He meets the gaze of the spirit owl. “Right?”

It stares right back at him. “You do realize he has contributed the majority of the scrolls in the Fire Nation section?” Wan Shi Tong turns around. “Besides, multiple spirits would be annoyed if I barred him. Something about blessings and extinct knowledge and spiritual resonance. He is one of the last true shamans.”

Throughout this, Zuko has been transcribing notes in that single minded fashion, seemingly faraway. Sokka has this weirdest idea that if he decided to push him over, Zuko would continue working, or weirdly enough disappear. He can't air say why he thinks this.

Sokka makes up his mind, and decides it's best if they both ignore each other. "And the Fire nation section is that way, right?"

* * *

Everyday he prays that his nephew made it safely to Ba Sing Se. He instinctively searches the crowd for a scarred face. He spots one, and it is Zuko. “Ah, there you are Zuko. Wonderful, you can work in my teashop.”

“No.” One simple word.

“It will be so relaxing. You don’t even have to worry about spirits.”

“No.”

“At least come back to my apartment.”

* * *

There is a boy who comes to the Ba Sing Se library everyday, only reading the oldest scrolls and ancient carvings. He even finds the entrances to the restricted section. When the Dai Li come to drag him away, their hands pass through his arms, and he hisses at them. Needless to say, he is left alone.

What he reads is fascinating. Old stories told anew. Lost cultural touchstones lost in the name of wat. The real truth behind the Royal line. Avatars from ages past. Day after day he comes, reading more for knowledge.

* * *

After rescuing the Avatars bison, the last thing he expects to see is his uncle.

“What are you doing here?” he asks his uncle.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing. What do you plan to do now that you've found the Avatar's bison? Keep him locked in our new apartment? Should I go put on a pot of tea for him?”

“First I have to get it out of here.”

“And then what!? You never think these things through! This is exactly what happened when you captured the Avatar at the North Pole! You had him, and then you had nowhere to go!”

“I would have figured something out! I know my own destiny, Uncle!”

“Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you? Or is it the destiny spirits have forced on you? I'm begging you, Prince Zuko! It's time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you, and what do you want? Did you learn nothing from your spirit quest?”

Zuko sighs. He unlocks the locks for the Air Bison. He is tired. Tired of choosing, of chasing, of spirits, of living. He picks up his Blue Spirit mask.

“You did the right thing, nephew. Leave behind the mask.”

Another thing to be left behind. His nation, his pride, his stake in the world. Perhaps even who he is has been so tied to it, to the spirits, he feels empty about it. Regardless, it is time to leave it all behind.

* * *

He is at a crossroads. He can betray the nation, and help the Avatar. On the other hand is his sister offering a return to normalcy, how things could be before. He is tired. He wants to forget his quest for the spirits, and to just believe his father is a good man, worthy of his approval. So he does. He joins his sister in her quest, believing his nation is correct. Letting someone’s else faith drive him, instead of himself driving himself to follow the spirits.

* * *

He is finally back to the Caldera of his youth, yet somehow both more and less than it was. the home guard is just as vigilant, yet something weighs on their shoulders. There are lots of children on the street, but their faces are thin. The biggest difference are the spirits he can see. Around the city are the tell tale signs of spirits leaving, remnants left of their presence. He sees the lack of guardian spirits, the soldiers coming home, then fading, the dark kamuiy lurking in shadows.

But he tells himself. That spirits are a thing of the past. That’s what he decided when he chose Azula.

* * *

Some mornings back in the palace, he can't muster the will to get out of bed. The sun slowly creeps across the sky as he thinks and thinks and thinks. He has had so much of his life dedicated to finding the Avatar, he doesn't know what to do next.

Other days, he spends in an almost manic fury, pouring over tomes, exploring long forgotten storage rooms, examining not so decorative runes in dusty hallways. Several servants bolt at the sight of the forgotten prince lurking in dark hallways. No one stays long enough to tell him his eyes are glowing.

On rare lonely days, Zuko comes back to court with steel in his back. He is as princely as if he had stayed in the palace the long 3 years, and his arguments are filled with truths that cut and implications left unspoken. His father, fire lord Ozai gives that thin smile as he deliberates with his proceedings. But at the end of the day, Zuko lies face down on his bed asking himself if that is what he wants, for the next 60 lonely years filled with politics and attempted assassinations.

* * *

Azula thought she understood her brother. Simple goals, simple methods. Chase after the nearest thing in front of his face. At least he was still the same in this regard, even if he managed to misinterpret father’s command as something about spirits. He should be happy that he's home, even if he doesn’t know how hard it was to convince father to allow it.

She’s not stupid. You don’t get as far as she does in court by ignoring rumours, especially those planted by other people. But frankly, stories about Zukos are ridiculous. Spirits this and that. Giants shrinking at the sight of him. A plague of bat locusts banished with his very command. Deadly duels with dark water spirits. Sounds like things out of plays. Everybit as melodramatic as Zuko himself.

* * *

The prince's return to the Caldera surprises everyone. With his return comes the return of his stories, and his names. Spirits ranging from simple ghost stories to encounters with the moon. They tell of his silent footsteps, his otherworldly presence. The occasional mother uses him to frighten their children into bed. He brings with him monikers no one knows originates from. The Forgotten Prince. The Spiritualist. Bearer of the Lost Tales. Some even say he is only a ghost returned from the dead, or that something sinister has taken over his body so that he is no longer human. But these are just all stories, right?

* * *

"For so long, all I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor I wanted, but really, I was just trying to please you. You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn.” Zuko brings up his sword to point at his father. “My father, who challenged me, a thirteen-year-old boy, to an Agni Kai. How could you possibly justify a duel with a child?" He demands.

Ozai doesn’t react.“It was to teach you respect.”

“It was cruel! And it was wrong.” he yells.

“Then you have learned nothing.”

“No, I’ve learned everything. And I’ve had to learn it on my own. Not even books could help me. Growing up, we were taught the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world.” He steps back and shakes his head. “It was all a lie. We’ve let so much ruin behind us. The spirits are abandoning us, and the land is no longer ours. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.”

* * *

The thing that unnerves Aang about Zuko is the way he seems to know more about the spirits than him, how casual he is with the knowledge. He knows that the Avatar is the bridge between spirits, but the spirits seem to be doing fine on their own. Except for special occasions like Hei Bai, Aang doesn’t really encounter spirits. But when Zuko joins the group, he talks about the spirits like the way Aang talks about the spirits. He is positively floored when Zuko mentions Gyatso, and Zuko has to hold him back before he can rush back to the Southern Air temple. Zuko has to give a half garbled explanation about distance and intent before Aang backs down.

The thing that unnerves Toph about Zuko is the way he seems to see. Sure, Toph’s friends are great, but Aang ignores stuff he should pay attention to, and Katara likes to pay attention to the nice stuff in people. Sokka is a bit better as a strategist, but well, he did miss the fact that the Fire Nation knew about the eclipse. But Zuko? Zuko sees. It seems seeing people miss everything. Man, faces must be really distracting, if her earthbending sense can see so much. Zuko is different. He grasps concepts quickly, reading their dynamic pretty fast. But it's more than that, it's how he’s aware of where everyone is, and how he looks at you. Even when you're not facing him, you feel his gaze, that looks past you and into you.

The thing that unnerves Sokka about Zuko is how alien he is. It's like he lives by rules Sokka can't comprehend. It's the little things, like how he always walks clockwise around fires, and the way he gets to impossible places, like that ledge halfway off the cliff. Or how he always is either stilted and awkward or an absolute force in speaking, with no in between. He is getting better at the in between part, though. Sokkas has never known any shamans, but he's pretty sure Zuko is a bit weirder than most.

The thing that pisses Katara off about Zuko is how similar he acts as he did before, as if he wasn't wrong then. "I simply wasn't listening to the spirits at the time." Spirits this, spirits that. It's like he doesn't know how to be human anymore, instead of just doing the right thing. She's not going to say spirits don't exist, having been around Aang the whole time, but she really doubts how much influence Zuko claims they have.

* * *

Katara wakes up one morning to find a note. She reads it, then stomps her foot. Toh glides in on a ripple of stone.

"Hey what does the note say? You seemed pissed."

"Seriously? Could they have come up with a more obvious lie? It says 'Gone spirit hunting.' Like what even is spirit hunting? No one does that. "

Toph stares off at a wall. "This is Sparky you're talking about. Who knows what he does? But yeah, it's probably a lie." She flicks something at the wall. "Why'd he need Sokka anyway?"

* * *

“I didn’t forgive him. I’ll never forgive him. But I am ready to forgive you. I think I was just doing as I thought I should.” Katara smiles at Zuko.

“I think I was the same way. I was just doing as I thought I should. Or maybe what the spirits thought I should be doing. But I think I’m ready to live my own life.”

* * *

"They say that an Agni Kai is the mandate of the spirits. You would know about that, wouldn't you, Zuzu?"

He can feel many spirits watching over this event, but he declines to say so.

“You’re on.”

* * *

The war is finally over. Aang has come back from his defeat of Ozai. He smiles at everyone in Uncle’s Ba Sing Se tea shop. He did offer to help serve tea, but Uncle hasn’t really gotten over the fact he didn’t want to work there back before the Ba Sing Se takeover. It’s the start of a new era, for him and for everyone. He looks out and has seen all he has gained. Friends, family, and a new life to live.


End file.
